“You have bad hair”, they said
“Your hair is so nappy” they said
“Your hair is so short” they said
Those sayings among others is something I grew up hearing. As if it’s not already hard growing up as a girl in such a judgmental world.
Welcome to my journey….
My mom, bless her heart, sucked at doing hair so most of the time I was on my own unless she could afford to get it done, which wasn’t often. Her go to style was a bunch of single braids with colorful beads. Don’t get me wrong it was cute but I had to grow up eventually.
I started getting relaxers at a Young age, probably about 8. It started with the kiddie brand called “Just for me” relaxers…. and then here I am minding my damn business at my aunts house and she thinks it’s a good idea to give me an adult relaxer. The relaxer was way to powerful for my hair, she literally burned my edges off 😱. When my mom saw me she was so upset she was speechless…she called my aunt and cussed her out and swore I was never allowed at her house again. See, my aunt had trouble with boundaries when it came to OTHER PEOPLE’S kids but she had gone way to far this time. I’m crying and my mom is yelling, it was a shit show. I’m sure I have pictures but that would require lots of digging at my grandma’s house. “Ain’t nobody got time for that…
Eventually my edges grew back over time, thank God. So fast forward to me being older , I graduated from braids with beads to long weave braids. DISCLAIMER: Embarrassing pictures to follow…
I actually liked when I had the braid style. It made me feel like I had long hair. Chile, you couldn’t tell me nothin’ (My smile tells it all).
By age 13 I was sick and tired of braids and wanted something different and by this time I started using adult relaxers and I started doing them myself…. My new go to style were “push backs”. A push back is basically where weave is glued inside the parts of your own hair (if you are picturing a hot mess then you got the idea)… This glue DESTROYED my hair but I kept doing that style because I didn’t know what else to do with my hair. I didn’t know the first thing about MY hair.
LOOK AT THOSE ROOTSSSSSS. My hair is barley covering the weave tracks.
My hair looks OK from this angle but it was sooo thin from relaxing it so much
I then graduated to a weave ponytail. My hair was always in a ponytail which caused my hair to break off in the middle and I was still getting relaxers As if things could get any worse, I started getting bangs with weave glued in. As I’m writing this I realized how insanely clueless I was. So of course my hair started braking off in the front as well. My hair was an uneven broken off mess. Then I CUT MY HAIR. If I’m being honest it was an impulsive decision, most of my life choices are impulsive decisions.
It didn’t start off this short on this side it WAS some more hair and every time i went to the barber it became less and less. This was for Valentines day.
FINALLY I had enough. I figured it was time to take control of my hair. It was time to breakout of all of those things that I was used to hearing about MYSELF. I decided to go natural. This decision came after countless nights of crying and feeling insecure about my hair. I started with YOUTUBE. Youtube is honestly heaven sent. After being bombarded with videos and websites and knowing absolutely nothing yet everything at the same time I was ready.
Becoming a “natural” was the most challenging thing ever. I was so used to my overly processed straight hair that when these kinky, and I mean kinky strands started growing out of my head……I had no idea what to do. I was a weak braider and not very creative in the hair department. I relaxed my hair 6 months later which i regretted the day after. My hair was so thin and felt awful. The next month i decided to give being natural another try and vowed to myself to try, like actually try….. I went back to my roots. Braids. Braids do my hair well as long as I’m not tugging and doing too much with them.
My Hair was finally starting to grow and I was falling in love with my natural hair. Don’t get me wrong I had plenty of frustrating days but overall things were good.
My new goal is to help other black women to love their hair. Especially when there is so much pressure to look “Normal” or to straighten their hair to get a job or to be taken serious. ROCK YOUR KINKS AND CURLS GIRLS!
Thank you for stopping by!